Canada Strong, Australia Lite

# 589

Two ways of managing an election campaign

This week we lost the Pope, the IDF continued to bomb women and children in Gaza, the United States threatened to walk away from peace talks if Ukraine didn’t give Putin a big hunk of their country, and at home the world’s most lacklustre election campaign meandered a little closer to the finish line.

Lots of important topics to discuss, but I’ll settle for the least significant in global terms. The world has grown accustomed to making jokes about Canada – seen as a relentlessly boring country that spends a large part of the year under a blanket of snow. Even the National Theatre Live adaptation of Dr. Strangelove has a running gag in the form of a pathetically deferential Canadian army officer. But wait… the Canadians are going to the polls a week before us, and even the most bigoted Aussie would have to admit that their election choices are lot more exciting than ours.

Since that twerp, Justin Trudeau, decided to fall on his sword, the Canadian Liberals – their answer to the ALP – have discovered a whole new impetus under former banker, Mark Carney. With a little help from Donald Trump.

When Carney became leader in March this year he probably wouldn’t have expected that Trump would start doubling down on the idea that Canada should become the 51^st state of the USA - and joking that he might not have to use force. Neither would Carney have expected Trump to slap 25% tariffs on Canadian imports.

Nevertheless, these statements and actions have been a massive gift to the ruling party. Riding a tsunami of Canadian patriotism, the Liberals’ prospects have been completely turned around. Prior to Trump opening his mouth, the Conservative leader, Pierre Poilievre, who has borrowed much of his political style from the orange meathead, was considered a 90% chance to form the next government. That percentage now stands at around 17%.

Brazen slogans such as “Canada First” have been quietly jettisoned, as Trumpism took on a distinctly unpleasant odour for local voters. While Poilievre was floundering around, looking for a new angle, Carney got to work and came up with a series of big, fully costed policy proposals, intended to future-proof Canada against the treachery of its southern neighbour. Suddenly, boring Canada looks like a superpower in waiting.

The Canadian election is on 28 April, and if Carney’s Liberals are re-elected, as expected, it will represent a major rejection of the politics of Trumpist right-wing populism.

What lessons does this story hold for Australia? Is Albo the same kind of hard-nosed, intelligent technocrat that Carney has revealed himself to be? Well, no. Will the Boiled Egg be riding a wave of populist discontent all the way to the Lodge (or Kirribilli, as he prefers)? He can dream.

Every time I see Albo on TV he comes across as a decent, conscientious, dull fellow who attends to his homework and tries to do the right thing by everyone. He may be more boring than anything to be found in Canada, but the outrageous outpourings of hatred and insult one finds in the right-wing media are simply ridiculous. Albo is not Dr. Evil - he’s more like Dr. Finlay.

The Egg, on the other hand, is a study in confusion. One could write a thesis about the backflips and misfires of an election platform which is essentially a reactionary proposition, with barely a constructive proposal in sight. His signature policy of building nuclear reactors to solve our energy problems now stands revealed as a desperate attempt to create a point of difference with Labor. Climate change was one of the topics that fuelled the Teal ascendency in the last election, and the Coalition still hasn’t worked out where it stands. While the Party is obviously packed with climate sceptics, and eager to do the right thing by big resource companies and donors such as Gina Rinehart, Dutton also knows that a large part of the electorate doesn’t share those views.

As a result, he finds himself affirming the reality of climate change but searching for another solution rather than the obvious one of supporting renewable energy sources. Nuclear was supposed to be that miracle solution, but it has turned into a black hole, as every independent costing or assessment tells us the figures don’t stack up. The worst-case scenario has put the bill at a whole-of-economy cost of $4.3 – $5.2 trillion by 2050, with only two power stations functioning by 2040, producing 2 percent of Australia’s energy needs (!!). At the very least, the policy seems likely to drive up power bills, destroy Australia’s ability to meet global energy targets and compete in world markets, leaving us with the small problem of radioactive waste.

Even if we disregard such an apocalyptic scenario, the policy is too loosely sketched, and an obvious loser with the public. By adopting this half-baked idea, the Coalition has awarded Labor a free kick for its attack ads and a clear sight of the goal posts.

Among other signs of desperation, we’ve seen the Egg wheel out his son, young Harry, to bemoan how hard it is for his generation to enter the housing market. As my working-class dad helped me with the deposit for a mortgage, I find it a little hard to believe that Dutton senior, whose net worth has been estimated at anywhere between $20 million and a fanciful $300 million, (pretty good going for a former Queensland copper), won’t make a small contribution to his offspring’s welfare. As for how the Coalition’s housing policies will benefit other 20-year-olds like Harry, that remains somewhat murky.

This is only a taster of the policy fails we’ve seen from the Coalition in this campaign, as they try out some Trumpian idea, then quickly back away. They were going to stop public servants working from home, until they found that a whole lot of people really liked working from home. They were going to make the gas producers pay a levy to ensure they serviced the domestic market first - until it became apparent this would most probably force local gas prices up rather than down.

There was even a falling out with Gina Rinehart, who said she was disappointed Dutton “failed to adopt a more overtly pro-business agenda on industrial relations and tax.” Here one can only chide the great lady for her impatience, because the Hard-Boiled One would surely have done everything she desired, if only she had let him keep quiet and get elected. Dutton has learned by now that what’s catnip for Gina is poison to a large slice of the electorate.

Looking for a strongman stunt, Dutton has spoken about removing the Aboriginal flag from official ceremonies, which seems pointlessly spiteful and divisive, as it’s only a good will gesture in the first place. He’s floated the idea of holding a referendum on being able to deport criminals to their country of birth even if they are Australian citizens. Hardly more than a nod to Trumpian law & order fixations, it’s a strange idea coming from someone who criticised the wasteful costs of the Voice referendum.

The Coalition’s novel solution for housing shortages is to reduce migrant intake and foreign student numbers, with no intention of increasing public housing. Inflation will be magically curtailed by having a stronger economy and cutting spending – or perhaps by finding a big horde of buried pirate treasure, or by the Divine intervention of the Virgin Mary. I suppose one can’t hope for much when your chief economic spokesman is a Hooray Henry like Angus Taylor.

The Liberal Party slogan is ‘Australia Back on Track’ which must be the most inspiring message since the famous Nixon slogan, ‘They Can’t Lick Our Dick!’

Admittedly, the Labor Party haven’t done much better with their slogan: ‘Building Australia’s Future’, which seems about as exciting as a quiet evening with Albo spent in front of the telly. Ever since they lost the 2019 election to the unlovable Scott Morrison by being too ambitious with a reformist agenda, Labor has been cautious and conservative to the point of inertia. They may have nominally ‘progressive’ policies on climate change, housing, health and education, but everything proceeds by baby steps. The cabinet is almost paralysed with caution, while the Murdoch press is portraying them as revolutionaries dragging us into the abyss of history.

When one looks at the big policy ideas and vision for the future coming from their Canadian counterparts, Labor’s timidity and mediocrity is on full display. They can consider themselves fortunate their main opposition is clueless, while the Greens have worked tirelessly to sabotage their own prospects by their grandstanding opposition to Labor’s modest proposals. Nevertheless, Labor stands in need of its own Teal revolution, if only there were enough vaguely left-leaning candidates to challenge them in safe seats. What would they be called? The Beiges?

The Greens, ever the pragmatists, tell us they are going to end poverty and free Palestine. Their other policies are slightly more ambitious.

Because every major showbiz production requires a little comic relief, we have Clive Palmer’s Trumpet of Patriots, which has promised to fix every problem known to humanity, except Clive Palmer. It’s hilarious that Clive is so eager to display his “Trump” associations while Dutton is like Hamlet, wondering “To Trump or not to Trump, that is the question…” Even though he’s tried on a lot of MAGA moments, the Egg was apparently none too pleased to see Jacinta Price sporting a red MAGA baseball cap – a great look for a potential Minister for Indigenous Affairs.

To return to my natural habitat I can find nothing whatsoever by way of arts policy from either Government or Opposition. The most likely scenario is that Labor feels it can get by with more of the same: “First Nations first”, motherhood statements, vast amounts of money squandered on inappropriate works of art, major scandals swept under the carpet. Hey, it’s working so well, why change course?

The Coalition would probably see the arts as just one of the areas that may attract spending cuts in order to pay for the nuclear reactors. Clive Palmer has yet to reveal his arts program.

The Greens seem to be the only party with an Arts policy, but it’s of the same hard-nosed, severely realistic cast as their other policies: Up to 10,000 artists paid a living wage; $2 billion invested in the arts industry over the course of a decade of uninterrupted Greens rule, and so on. Well, at least they thought about it.

Everything leads to a pathetic non-choice on 3 May. The Opposition has done more backflips than Simone Biles over the past two months and come up with nothing but a few burps. Labor has tinkered around the edges with issues such as health and housing but has been most successful at avoiding commitments.

Art and culture are simply off the radar, with both major parties assuming the voting public couldn’t give two hoots. If they’re largely correct in this assumption it’s nothing to be proud of because it is the responsibility of government to cultivate cultural awareness, as we find in countries as diverse as France and South Korea. The last time we did this properly in Australia was under Paul Keating, although Gough Whitlam remains the arts-friendly Prime Minister of all time.

Gough, who is routinely treated like Ivan the Terrible in the right-wing press today, also had a great election slogan: “It’s Time”. The appeal was to the here & now, not some airy “future”, as in the current ALP slogan, or to a mythical past (“back on track”). The Canadian Liberals’ slogan, by the way, is ‘Canada Strong’, which sounds as if it was coined by Tarzan. It’s obviously geared to capitalise on Trump’s great gift by announcing that Canada is economically and militarily strong enough to defend itself without the assistance of the USA, or even against the USA.

In Australia, we don’t have anything capable of galvanising the minds of voters in this manner. Our most honest political slogan would be: ‘Australia – Not So Bad’ or ‘Australia – It Could be Worse’. The problem facing the Opposition is that it would require a major crisis to undermine our ingrained political complacency. Canadians have felt Trump’s fetid breath on the back of their necks and don’t like it one little bit. Australians are far enough away from the circus in Washington D.C. to see it as just another TV soap opera. As we put on our slippers and settle down for a cup of tea and a sausage roll with Albo (for another three years), we need to heed Canada’s lesson. In politics there are worse sins than being boring, but eventually one has to stand for something other than the mere maintenance of power.

The art column, in this lead-in to election week is not a review, but an introductory essay for Guo Jian’s Nothing About Erotic but Playboy at Rochfort Gallery, one of my occasional, too rare, ventures into curatorship. Among all the Chinese emigrés who have made their way into the Australian art world since 1989, Guo Jian is the most daring and archly satirical. This show incorporates work from 2000 to today. To say it’s a riot is an understatement.

As a bonus this week I’m adding a brief address given at the launch of Paul McGillick’s book, Slow Reveal: The Nude in Australian Art – a long-awaited study of a surprisingly neglected topic.

The film review is a double, featuring the NT Live adaptation of Dr. Strangelove, in which Steve Coogan plays four separate roles, and The Penguin Lessons, in which he only gets to play one. The first film, as you undoubtedly know, is about what can go wrong with the nuclear deterrent; the second is set during the 1976 coup d’état in Argentina which toppled the Perón government. If it’s not too disturbing, that’s because we spend most of the film romping around with a penguin - which may be exactly what’s missing from the Australian election campaigns. Just get up on that platform with your penguin and nobody will notice the lack of policies.